no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
