The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
oh god the rape fog is back!
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
