dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
