I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
