The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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