I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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