Old men and throwing up are my life now.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
