I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize