So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Fuck appropriateness.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
