What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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