It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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