Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
