then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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