How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
