pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He better not be in your backpack
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
