Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
