he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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