and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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