it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize