well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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