i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
