One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize