i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the room spins SO much faster in panama
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
