I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just found puke in my bra..
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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