I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
