2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
