The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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