Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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