please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
third nipple confirmed
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
