Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
