I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
