Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Drunk walkin through police station. America
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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