He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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