I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
