you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
