her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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