No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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