okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
