Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize