so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
