i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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