Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
