so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
