i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
