I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
