In the future we'll all be gay
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
