before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
