I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
