Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
