my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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