Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
