haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
