dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
