We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
