you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
it wasn't lemon gatorade
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
