I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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