please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
