is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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