Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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