my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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