Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
