JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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